She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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