I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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