You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
