the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
