At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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