Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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