My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
