She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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