Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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