I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
