Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
