Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
