at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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