I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
