There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
