Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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