I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
