who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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