i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
