she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
