this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
