I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
