guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
