I heard we made out
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We left the knife in your bed.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
