We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I am midnight drunk by noon
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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