I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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