I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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