with your own penis?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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