She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
