It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
