we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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