Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
