She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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