Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
