I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I will be naked everywhere
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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