would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
