Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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