Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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