Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
