No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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