you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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