he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
