He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
