Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
