Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So many bounce houses so little time
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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