Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
