Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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