i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
