Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
