i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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