Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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